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There are evenings when you find yourself in a hotel room in Geneva, the lights dimmed, and the conversation slowly drifts toward topics that rarely come up over coffee. I've seen it dozens of times while following the world of escorts and erotic classifieds. Men who had been circling around the subject for months, speaking about it almost in whispers. Anal sex. Not as a box to tick off on a bucket list, but as a door they're hesitant to open.
After more than ten years around this scene, between Lausanne, Neuchâtel and the endless stream of escort ads, I can tell you straight: it's a practice that divides opinion. Some people love it to the point of obsession, while others try it once and never go back. Honestly, both perspectives are valid. But if you jump in without knowing what you're doing, there's a good chance the experience will end badly. Or worse, leave you with an unpleasant memory.
Because it's still surrounded by taboos, even in 2026. Yet in the swinger and libertine scene, requests are common. Escorts know it well: many clients want to explore this territory without pressure or judgment. Women are curious too. The feeling of fullness, prostate stimulation for men, the high concentration of nerve endings... sometimes the body wants things that logic can't quite explain.
But let's be clear: it's not something everyone has to try. I've seen too many people put pressure on themselves to "experience everything." The result? Stress, tension, and ultimately no pleasure at all.
An escort I knew in Lausanne once told me about a regular client who was rather reserved. After several successful appointments, he finally asked about it. They took their time, genuinely. At the end of the evening, he sat in silence for a long moment before simply saying, "Damn, it felt like I had discovered a part of my body I never knew existed." After that, he kept coming back, but always to see her. Complete trust.
The biggest obstacle isn't physical-it's what happens in your head. Fear of pain, the idea of being penetrated, or that little voice telling you it's somehow not very... clean. All of that matters. The first rule is to talk about it properly. Not a casual "maybe we could try it someday" thrown into a random conversation. A real discussion.
In the libertine world, the best experiences happen when nobody feels pressured. An experienced escort knows how to create that safe space where you can relax without feeling judged or embarrassed. That's incredibly valuable.
A normal shower is enough. There's no need for anything extreme. Routine enemas are often unnecessary for a first experience and can even cause irritation. Lubricant, however, is absolutely essential. Choose a high-quality, thick lubricant, ideally silicone-based. Forget saliva or cheap gels. Apply plenty, then add more. The anal area does not produce natural lubrication.
Then, relax. Take your time. Kissing, touching, foreplay-everything that normally builds arousal. The more excited you become, the more relaxed the sphincter tends to be. It can feel almost magical.
Many people experiment alone first. A small, well-lubricated plug during a relaxed solo session can help. You learn about your body's reactions, discover new sensations, and remove much of the pressure before sharing the experience with someone else.
The external sphincter is under conscious control, while the internal one is not. That's why forcing things never works. Patience and genuine desire do all the heavy lifting.
Deciding to "just go for it" without enough lubricant or preparation. The burning sensation, the tension that follows, and suddenly the evening is ruined. I've seen men regret that mistake for weeks.
Another classic mistake is staying silent. "Is this okay?" "Go slower." "Add more lube." These things need to be said. Experienced escorts often sense what's happening, but between partners, communication is absolutely essential.
Sometimes I feel people overcomplicate the whole thing. At its core, it's fairly simple: desire, patience, and plenty of lubricant.
The spooning position is often the easiest for beginners. Lying on your side provides gentle angles and better control. Lying on your back with your legs raised can also work well. Avoid acrobatic positions where you lose control during your first attempts.
Start with one finger, then perhaps two, using slow movements. You'll feel when your body begins to relax and open up. The sensation can shift from an unusual discomfort to something deep and surprisingly intense. For some people, it's incredibly pleasurable. For others, simply enjoyable. And sometimes, it does nothing at all. That's perfectly normal.
One night in Neuchâtel, a woman told me that a client discovered through her that prostate stimulation completely transformed his orgasms. He never looked at pleasure the same way again-in the best possible sense.
Gentle cleaning, cuddling, and a little downtime. The area may remain sensitive for a while. Some people notice unusual sensations when using the bathroom in the following hours, which is generally normal. If there is significant bleeding or persistent pain, see a doctor. No exceptions.
The pleasure can feel different: more diffuse, longer-lasting, sometimes surprising. Double penetration for some women, prostate stimulation for men... when everything clicks, the sensations can be remarkably intense.
Anal sex for beginners isn't a technique to master from a manual. It's about trust, patience, communication and listening to each other. Whether you're with a long-term partner or an escort who knows how to guide the experience, the principle remains the same: no performance pressure, just shared pleasure.
I've seen couples who met through erotic classifieds become more open after embracing this without expectations. I've also seen others decide it simply wasn't for them. Both outcomes are perfectly valid.
So what's still holding you back? The curiosity is already there, isn't it? The rest may come naturally-or it may not. Either way, your sexuality remains yours to explore in whatever way feels right for you.
No, not necessarily, but it can feel uncomfortable or even painful if you go too fast or skip preparation. The key is to take things slowly, use plenty of lubricant and make sure there is real arousal. The body needs time to relax. Too many first experiences go wrong because of impatience. With the right approach, the sensation can often move from mild discomfort to deep pleasure.
A high-quality, thick silicone-based lubricant is usually the best choice. It lasts longer and does not dry out quickly. Forget saliva or cheap gels. You need to reapply lubricant regularly because the anal area does not produce natural lubrication. This is non-negotiable if you want to avoid burning sensations and bad experiences.
For a first time, no, it is not necessary. A normal shower is usually more than enough. Regular enemas can irritate the anal lining and sometimes create more problems than they solve. Basic hygiene and relaxation are much more important.
The spooning position, lying on your side, is often the most comfortable for beginners because it allows easy control and gradual penetration. Lying on your back with your legs raised can also work well. Avoid positions that are too deep, intense or acrobatic at first. The most important thing is being able to adjust the rhythm and depth easily.
Be honest, clear and avoid putting pressure on the other person. It should be a real conversation, not just a hint dropped in passing. Talk about what you feel, your fears and your desires. In the escort world, many professionals are used to these conversations and know how to create a safe, relaxed space. Trust is the foundation of everything.
Yes, absolutely. Anal sex divides opinion: some people love it, while others try it once and never want to do it again. There is no obligation. If you do not enjoy it, it is not a failure. Sexual pleasure is personal, and there is no right or wrong way to explore it.
The main risks are pain, small tears and infections if hygiene is not respected. You can reduce them by using plenty of lubricant, progressing very slowly, communicating clearly and cleaning gently afterwards. If you experience strong pain or persistent bleeding, see a doctor. With the right precautions, problems remain rare.
